Self-aware narcissist
Rufus is someone who grew to have everything given to him but at the same time nothing at all. His mother would give him everything he ever wanted while his dad would give him absolutely nothing. Growing up like this gave Rufus a twisted sense of taking whatever you want to (In a way he's getting everything he wants but also he has to "work" for it.) Rufus also has a narcissistic personality as he is a white man growing up in the south during the 1800s and the fact that his mother holds him above everything else.
We can look at all of these traits showing up during his interaction with Alice. Having being rejected by Alice, who is a black woman, is too much for his egotistical narcissistic self. He orders Dana to get her for him (much like how his mother used to hand him everything). He doesn't understand that he can't just take anything he wants.
When Alice killed herself because of Rufus, he wants Dana to stop blaming it on him. He couldn't take the guilt of having a girl's death on his hand. There is a small light of self-consciousness from Rufus that he understands that he's a bad person. However, even then he doesn't try to change his way. He just blames the world and others for his problems. Rufus just doesn't learn from his mistakes as any narcissist wouldn't.
We can look at all of these traits showing up during his interaction with Alice. Having being rejected by Alice, who is a black woman, is too much for his egotistical narcissistic self. He orders Dana to get her for him (much like how his mother used to hand him everything). He doesn't understand that he can't just take anything he wants.
When Alice killed herself because of Rufus, he wants Dana to stop blaming it on him. He couldn't take the guilt of having a girl's death on his hand. There is a small light of self-consciousness from Rufus that he understands that he's a bad person. However, even then he doesn't try to change his way. He just blames the world and others for his problems. Rufus just doesn't learn from his mistakes as any narcissist wouldn't.
I feel like because Rufus had such conflicting parentings of "My dad says I have to work for everything" vs "My mom will let me have whatever I want," that gave him a lot of problems in reconciling the things that happens around him. You talk about how he just blames everything on other people because he can't accept things being his fault. But I feel like he definitely has the capacity to take the blame on things (and does a couple of times, from what I remember at least), he just has a really hard time figuring out whether things are his fault or not. He wants to be compassionate, but he really can't tell what the best way to do that is. It's hard to tell whether that's totally because of his confusing upbringing, but it was probably affected by it to some degree.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how "self-aware" Rufus ever becomes--unless we read his creepy "you and Alice are two halves of the same woman" idea as some degree of narcissistic self-awareness. But you're right about the role of his parents in shaping his chaotic adult personality: he doesn't get much love or affirmation from his father, but he *does* get a pretty damaging picture of a role model, how a propertied white man "should" behave in this social context, and we see him exercising this power and prerogative with Alice in all kinds of ways. He sees himself as different from his father because he "loves" her, but when it comes down to it, he's willing to exploit all of the same power leverage that Tom Weylin exercised over his slaves.
ReplyDeleteYeah rufus made me really sad because he had two different versions of child abuse coming at him at the same time. Like you said, his father gave nothing and his mother forgave everything, and tried to micromanage him. He felt like he could get away with anything and deserved everything. As a result, he grew up incapable of forming healthy relationships. It's tragic. Spoiling kids is probably one of the worst things parents can do for them.
ReplyDeleteRufus is so manipulative to the people around him. Most of his interactions with Dana hinge on compromises and promises that he doesn't always keep, and he doesn't hesitate to get what he wants using violent means. The wierd part is that Dana still feels a strong connection to him. She's accused of "trying to find the good in him" despite his horrible actions. But can you really blame Dana for clinging to her ancestor's humanity? She desperately wants to understand how she's descended from such a terrible person, and focusing on his positive qualities helps explain this disconnect.
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